{"id":44,"date":"2011-06-28T13:16:13","date_gmt":"2011-06-28T13:16:13","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/nationalscientificstuff.org\/?p=44"},"modified":"2011-07-04T12:35:56","modified_gmt":"2011-07-04T12:35:56","slug":"the-discovery-of-the-three-horned-kneeopod-2","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/nationalscientificstuff.org\/?p=44","title":{"rendered":"The Discovery of the Three Horned Kneeopod"},"content":{"rendered":"
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\"The<\/a><\/strong><\/span><\/dt>\n
The Large Lumbering Prehistoric Three Horned Kneeopod<\/strong><\/span><\/dd>\n<\/dl>\n

An Expansion in the Family Tree<\/span><\/strong><\/h1>\n

\u00a0<\/span>Although often overshadowed by the Landmark discovery of the Tyrannokneeosaurus<\/em> , the discovery of the Three Horned Kneeopod<\/em> is important in its own right. <\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span>Until this discovery, It was widely accepted that the Kneemonster line had only one track, that of the Tyranakneesosaurus<\/em>, which itself was only proven definitively with Dr VanMaberly-Hooten\u2019s<\/em> discovery shortly before.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span>Controversy Right from the Start\u00a0<\/span><\/strong>\u00a0<\/span>The significance of the Discovery was clouded at first due in large part to the discoverer of the fossil himself, as demonstrated in this excerpt from the most definitive book on the History of the Kneemonster to date \u201cThe Kneemonster Chronicles\u201d Published by none other than the dedicated staff here at National Scientific Stuff Magazine<\/em>.<\/span><\/p>\n

\"Sir<\/a>

Sir Canolli Nickerson of Eftwick<\/p><\/div>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span>\u201cIt is also important to note that the fossil remains of two of the creatures were discovered by the same archaeologist. The Kneeopod <\/strong><\/span><\/span>was discovered accidentally when Sir Canoli Nickerson of Eftwick<\/strong><\/span> (The noted blind archaeologist) dropped his motor car keys (Licenses, being much easier to obtain in those days) and dug down 2o feet in a desperate but failed attempt to find them.<\/span><\/span><\/em><\/h4>\n

He discovered the Kneesiosaur<\/strong><\/span> when he fell down a well.\u201d<\/span><\/span><\/em><\/h4>\n

<\/p>\n

\"Display<\/a>

Canolli's Display of the Kneeopod Remains<\/p><\/div>\n

Despite Dr. Canolli\u2019s <\/em>disability, he insisted that not only had he discovered two separate animals but also insisted on assembling the remains for display. When it was suggested to Dr. Canolli that it was not two incomplete skeletons, but one complete skeleton, Dr. Canolli haughtily replied \u201cThat\u2019s ridiculous, any fool can see that.\u201d The Sad irony laying in the fact that Dr. Canolli <\/em>himself literally, could not.\u00a0 <\/span>\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span>Round Table Discussion <\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span>This ultimately false premise was angrily defended by Dr. Canolli Nickerson<\/em> in a round table discussion first aired on the Fort Farkinflat Public Radio<\/em> station and moderated by none other than Dr. Eva VanMaberley-Hooten<\/em>.\u00a0 <\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span>The Panel Consisted of Dr. VanMaberley-Hooten<\/em>, Dr Canolli Nickerson, Dr Knickerless Nickerson<\/em> (Not related\u2026unless you consider Ug) and Dr. Josiah Hazeltoniarrgh<\/em>. In what would be one of the most talked about Radio conferences about something hardly anybody cares about in quite some time. <\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span>Tension was thick in the air to start with due to an old festering wound between Hazletoniarrgh<\/em> and Knickerless Nickerson<\/em> about the controversial yet gripping paper released by Dr. Knickerless<\/em> on the Royal League of the Nasty Dinks<\/em>. A situation the moderator was scarcely able to control objectively, due to her own altercation with the Dr. Hazeltoniarrgh<\/em> because of the Bruhaha between the two over the Kneemonster emergence timeline. <\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span>At this point many have asked the obvious question \u201cWhy put all of these people in the same room in the first place\u201d But the program director of Fort Farkingflat Public Radio<\/em> at the time, A man known to us only as \u201cMr. Springer\u201d<\/span><\/em> was unavailable for comment. <\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span>During what turned into a hotly contentious debate, Dr Canolli<\/em> , repeatedly insisted that the Kneepod<\/em> was diminutive bi-pedal creature with either two or three horns and two legs. He further went on to claim that the fossil was NOT a Kneemonster (An assumption that the scientific community at large so firmly believed that it was widely considered a fact) but a brand new species Dr. Canolli<\/em> dubbed \u201c The Demi-Kneemonster\u201d<\/em> <\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span>At this, Dr. Hazletoniarrgh<\/em> guffawed loudly and chided Dr. Nickerson<\/em> for not only being blind but \u201ca little on the dense side\u201d at which the moderator Dr. VanMaberley-Hooten<\/em> scolded Dr. Hazletoniarrgh<\/em> and rather unprofessionally called him a \u201cReal Dink.\u201d Dr. Hazeltoniarrgh<\/em> indignantly and aggressively denied that he was any sort of dink, to which Dr. Knickerless<\/em> replied \u201cThat\u2018s not what my research shows\u201d which left Dr. Hazeltoniarrgh<\/em> speechless. <\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span>In an effort to bring the discussion back to the matter of the Kneeopod, Dr. Van Maberley-Hooten <\/em>confronted Dr.Canolli<\/em> and asked him to explain the seemingly unlikely coincidence that the only fossil remains were the left side of the skull on one animal and the right side of the skull on the other. Dr. Canolli<\/em> dismissed the challenge, telling Dr. VanMaberley-Hooten<\/em> that \u201cShe was blind to the obvious evidence pointing to the two animal conclusion\u201d and then asked her how many tickle monsters she has found lately.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span>Veiled Threats and Clandestine<\/span> Actions <\/span><\/span><\/span><\/strong><\/h3>\n

\u00a0<\/span>The Round Table ended in a verbal Melee that solved nothing in regards to the Kneeopod<\/em> controversy, but news of the spectacle made the International news wire later on for a variety of reason. <\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span>As mentioned before, following the comment by Dr. Knickerless<\/em>, not a another word was heard Dr. Hazeltoniarrgh<\/em>, but witnesses report that he looked directly at both Drs. Knickerless<\/em> and Van Maberley-Hooten <\/em>and made a serious of rather cryptic hand gestures at the pair. Dr. Knickerless has subsequently claimed them to be Royal Order of Nasty Dinks<\/em> symbolic gestures fortelling of misfortune to befall those who view them (A claim vehemently denied by Dr. Hazeltoniarrgh<\/em>) and Dr. Knickerless<\/em> responded with one or two not so secret hand gestures of his own. <\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span>Although no repercussions seemed to befall Dr. Knickerless<\/em>, it was Dr. VanMaberley-Hooten<\/em> who made headlines by being mysteriously tripped just outside the studio by an \u201cunknown\u201d assailant. Fortunately for Dr. VanMaberley-Hooten<\/em>, Her fall was broken by Larry Marbles<\/em> who serendipitously was stumbling towards an interview scheduled to take place that night at the Fort Farkinflat public radio<\/em> studios concerning the recent popularity of the SICK<\/em> tribute band, SICK again<\/em>.<\/span>\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\"Photographic<\/a>

Alledged Royal League of the Nasty Dink Hand Gesture<\/p><\/div>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n

Despite this and other Instances where Dr. Canolli<\/em> stands steadfastly by his \u201cTwo animal theory,\u201d the Scientific Community at large subscribes the Three-Horned Kneeopod being a Large lumbering Herbivore with five horns and the customary four legs as recorded in \u201c The Kneemonster Chronicles\u201d as excerpted here. With the accompanying Illustration.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span>\u201cThe Three Horned Kneeopod<\/span><\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

\"An<\/a>

An Artist's rendering of the Three Horned Kneeopod<\/p><\/div>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n

This curious creature was also a predominantly a plant eater but seemed to from time to time have a craving for squirrels\u201d<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

In Conclusion<\/span><\/strong><\/h3>\n

\u00a0<\/span>Today, the Three Horned Kneeopod<\/em> stands tall as one of the most magnificent of the great Prehistoric Herbivorous Kneemonsters and The National Scientific Stuff Society<\/em> anxiously looks forward to further light being shed on this, thus far, mysterious creature.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u00a0 \u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

<\/span><\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

The Large Lumbering Prehistoric Three Horned Kneeopod An Expansion in the Family Tree \u00a0Although often overshadowed by the Landmark discovery of the Tyrannokneeosaurus , the discovery of the Three Horned Kneeopod is important in its own right. \u00a0Until this discovery, … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":36,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[4,14,9,15,5,6,3,8],"class_list":["post-44","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-kneemonster","tag-kneeopod","tag-national-scientific-stuff","tag-public-radio","tag-skeletal-remains","tag-terrible-kneed-lizard","tag-tyrannokneeasaurus","tag-vanmaberley-hooten"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"http:\/\/nationalscientificstuff.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/06\/threehornedkneeopodtwo.jpg","_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/nationalscientificstuff.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/44","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/nationalscientificstuff.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/nationalscientificstuff.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/nationalscientificstuff.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/nationalscientificstuff.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=44"}],"version-history":[{"count":9,"href":"http:\/\/nationalscientificstuff.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/44\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":84,"href":"http:\/\/nationalscientificstuff.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/44\/revisions\/84"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/nationalscientificstuff.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/36"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/nationalscientificstuff.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=44"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/nationalscientificstuff.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=44"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/nationalscientificstuff.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=44"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}